Language, mon amour...

Well, it's high time to say something about my other passion. Since I remember I've always been into foreign languages. People used to say it was just a talent of mine. Some kids drew interesting pictures, the others sang beautifully, I was always interested in books. Especially those ones I couldn't have understood:) While kids from the neighborhood were playing outside, I was sitting in my aunt's library, trying to figure out what the book was about.

In the age of 7, I decided to learn English by myself. Tough Task. Since there was nobody who could have taught to me how to pronounce the words, I quit. That was my first experience with foreign language.

Later, when I was in fifth grade, Poland was still under great influence of USSR and everybody had to learn how to speak Russian. That was something else! But don't get me wrong. I just loved all those different signs and letters, and I loved it for 3 years. Then Russian was not obligatory any more..I do remember couple words, some poems, and I understand a lot but I've never had a chance to speak that language..

My real linguistic adventure began in high school. I enrolled in French and English classes. But it wasn't as easy as it seemed:) A week after the school had started, I came home crying and screaming. The same day I told my parents that if they thought that I was going to school again, they were wrong! Everybody kept asking what had happened to me. And I told them.. That day, my French teacher wanted us to memorize and learn how to pronounce "days of the week." I just couldn't pronounce "Mercredi" with a proper accent :D Pretty ironic. That was actually French I've completely devoted myself to. That's why, after graduating from high school, I've chosen to continue my education at Romance Philology Department of Jagiellonian University in Cracow...

My First Portfolio.

This year, I finally registered for my first Photo Class at Moraine Valley Community College, Palos Hills, USA. Why now? Because I didn't want to wait any longer. I first thought about going to art school when I was 14 years old, but my dreams never came true. Although I was trying hard not to be an ordinary human being, I never convinced myself that I was a good material to be an artist. So when the time has come, instead of going to art school, I went to regular high school and so my adventures with foreign languages began..

That was probably one of the best decisions ever made. I like to believe it made me who I am right now. After high school, I went to one of the most famous polish universities (Jagiellonian University, Cracow), I lived in one of the most beautiful polish cities.. I studied foreign languages, mostly French and Spanish. And I never thought about art school again.


Until now. Being in foreign country, working hard all the time makes you sick. Sooner or later, you have to find something you can do just for yourself. Otherwise, you'll get crazy.. After I'd sworn to myself that I wasn't going to study any more, I thought that it would be actually a good idea to go to College. And so it started.. Photo Classes..

I enjoyed it very very much.. My teacher was great, he was an extremely good photographer himself. He taught me a lot about B&W Photography, he showed me how to develop films, make prints and mount them. He taught me how to change details without Photoshop involved. I started working on my first portfolio: "Unconventional Self Portrait."

"(...) Why unconventional self portrait? I've always sensed the presence of another force in my life as I've always believed that the realm of duality exists. I believe that every single thing, including ourselves, exists along with its opposite. We are organic and refined, dark and light, happy and upset, black and white, not just gray. We all go through ups and downs, we cry at night and we laugh in the daytime. We have reason but we also have emotions. We are actors in the theater of life, aren't we? While taking these pictures, I'm telling my true story, revealing my alter ego. These pictures truly are my personal vision of myself."

From the series of exposures I've made for the first portfolio, I've chosen double exposure shots as most interesting. Especially from technical point of view (I use a 35mm camera and a tripod, but it's getting yet more dramatic: I'm the main subject of my experiment). I create a new persona without knowing how she's going to come out in the picture. Double exposure is also hard to be captured on the prints. I'm almost transparent. Don't forget that we're dealing with a negative not digital..There's no Photoshop involved.

Those pictures are very emotional to me. Looking at them, I fear what will happen next, I feel uncertain. "Guardian Angel" is my favorite one. I never expected this picture to come out like that. It's exactly the way I wanted. It's almost like a paint. "Evil Twin" is the second picture I really like. My friends are a little bit afraid of me now. Mostly because of that "spooky" aspect of my photos. The picture "Trying to survive..", for that matter, reminds them some terrifying horror movie covers. Well, as I said in my artist statement: " I will create an army of me.. So beware! Your emotions will take you where you have never been before.."

My journey..

Hey, me again.. More details about my life for those who are interested. I'm almost 30 years old, well educated (not that it made my life something better:)), married (to a guy who was my close friend when I was like 14), organized (I'm a Virgo, that explains everything), extremely hard working (yes!), passionate and very very emotional. My real name's Joanna and I'm originally from Poland but I left my country couple years ago. I know what you're going to say now: "Are there any Poles left in Poland?". Well, of course, but let's just say the Poles are not natural born hobbits, they are curious what's out there..

Me myself, I've lived in France for 6 months and then, after I graduated, I followed my future husband to USA. I recall that at first, I was really disappointed with my stay in France although I had a chance to live in one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. That was Auvergne, the land of breathtaking mountain ranges and volcanic peaks. And I must say, I would never forget those black lava stones of Clermont-Ferrand Cathedral. So when the day has come to leave France and go back to the reality, my heart was broken.. I had to go back to Poland though. That was my last year at the Jagiellonian University and I was about to become Master of Romance Philology..

After I graduated, I tried to get a decent job as a translator but I couldn't find anything. That's why I made a decision: I will follow my boyfriend and we'll see what's going to happen next. And here I am, in the United States.. And after 4 years, I'm getting tired of this country already. And I miss my family. I think I may go some place else these days.. In fact, if only I could find a job as a photographer in Europe, I'd go right the way.

Why photography? For all these years, I did a lot of things, I've been to different places.. But photography is my true passion, something that helps me go through every day, something that makes me feel good about myself.. Something that makes my life less miserable..

I've been taking pictures since I was a kid. My dad showed me once how to use 35mm camera. I used it ever since. Cause there's always a lot of fun not knowing what's in the picture. How the picture is going to come out? Did I capture what I was supposed to capture? Was the light good enough? Didn't I move the camera a bit when I was taking picture? Is it going to be sharp? These are not silly questions for someone who sets everything up manually. It takes a while, it does. But believe me, it's worth it!

Hello there..

7/22/2008 Self Portrait..

Hello there. I hope you don't mind I let myself in. The door was open anyways.. Who am I? Well, I'm certainly not one of those people who constantly brag about themselves.. I have my secrets, my doubts, I'm only human.. I guess we'll know each other better later. I can only say that in this stage of my miserable life I would like to become an artist. I always thought that I was going to be a translator. But that would be too easy. After years of studies at the Faculty of Philology, after scholarship in Auvergne, France, here I am, trying to be a photographer. Or at least photographer assistant.. After so many years, I finally recognized myself devoted to photography and found my true passion..My entire life I was taking pictures not knowing that that was actually what I did like. Well, better late than never:)

At the time, as a student of Photography at Moraine Valley Community College, Palos Hills, USA, I was working on my first B&W portfolio and I had to say something about me. Why? Because my portfolio was in fact nothing more that artistic vision of myself captured by the camera, my confidente.. I dare to repeat after Isidore Schary:

"The true portrait of a man is a fusion of what he thinks he is, what others think he is, what he really is and what he tries to be.."

I'm sorry if I'm not clear enough. English is just one of foreign languages I like to use to express myself.